Durian Seeds, Anyone?

Whilst browsing David Lebovitz's blog, I chanced on his comment that he had eaten durian seeds before. He didn't say whether the durian seeds were good though, not that I would trust him even if he had. I mean, what would an ang moh know about durians? According to him, durians – the pulp or, if you want to be technical, the aril – taste like "a ripe, almost rotting coconut". See? Told you!

Durians don't taste anything like coconuts, rotting, green or whatever. All durian experts – like me, ahem! – know that durians taste like . . . well, durians. Nothing else in the world that comes close.

I totally respect David's expertise in cakes and such. He used to be a pastry chef after all. But when it comes to durians, step aside, David!

How is it that an American ang moh in Paris has eaten durian seeds whilst I'd never heard that they were edible? Indignant that I had been outdone by a 'barbarian' – – I felt I had to try some durian seeds myself, pronto.

I guess most people throw away durian seeds after eating the pulp. Is that a waste? Are durian seeds the biggest culinary secret waiting to be discovered? What do durian seeds taste like? I set out to find out.

After I made durian with sticky rice, I kept the seeds instead of chucking them away like I usually do. I put them in a small pot of gently simmering salted water and waited impatiently. The seeds were chopstick tender after 20 minutes but even before I tasted one, the signs weren't good. The seeds emitted a rather foul smell whilst they were on the stove. And when I fished one out of the pot, it was very slimy, somewhat like boiled ladies' fingers. I pried it apart with a pair of chopsticks and . . . 'Eeeew!' See the photo? There were sticky strands of what looked like glue or saliva. Gross! Not gross enough to me make abort the investigation though. I broke off a tiny, tiny bit of the seed and popped it in my mouth. I was prepared to spit it out immediately but it was ok. After a moment's hesitation, I chewed, cautiously . . . . There was only one way to describe it:

Ok, not quite retching bad because it was actually quite bland. But it was bland in a bad way, with something that I couldn't quite put my finger on at first. What is that smell? After taking the photos, sniffing, tasting, and as I write this post, I now have some idea. The seeds tasted like sulphur compounds, rotten eggs and, to quote David Lebovitz's grandmama, 'the gas from a thousand asses'. It was all those things that durian haters say durians taste like. Honest to god, it smelt and tasted like someone farted . . . a silent one, know what I mean? Not the most horrible one possible but bad nonetheless. It also tasted like gum, the starchy, paste type that comes in small, colourful plastic tubs. And the texture was kind of gummy. Here I go again, eeeew!

I wish I could tell you that durian seeds are delicious but unfortunately that's not the case. They're bland yet vile at the same time. Chuck 'em where they belong: in the bin! That was what I did with the ones I cooked.